Below are 25 situations in
which conflict and anger are likely to arise. Think carefully about each
situation, rate on a scale of 1-5 the volatility of your typical reaction and
circle your response. (1 indicates a relatively calm reaction and 5 indicates a
major eruption.)
1. As you're about to leave home for an important appointment, you spill coffee on your clothing.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
2. A car pulls out in front of you, causing you to slam on your brakes, and the other driver gestures at you as if you've done something wrong.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
3. You miss a deadline at work because information to be supplied by someone else arrives late.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
4. A waiter or waitress gets your order all wrong, and you're served a meal you don't want.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
5. Friends arrive at your door unexpectedly and assume that you're ready to entertain them.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
6. You must wait an extremely long time at a medical or dental office.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
7. You drop a gallon of milk, spilling it all over the floor.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
8. You're driving behind a car going ten miles under the legal speed limit, and there is no way you can pass.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
9. You get a ticket for parking illegally.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
10. Someone makes fun of your new haircut.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
11. At work, a recent effort is criticized by your boss in front of several of your colleagues. |
1 2
3 4 5 |
12. At the last minute, a friend cancels plans you'd made for the evening.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
13. Someone takes credit for work you did.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
14. You discover that someone is spreading gossip about you.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
15. Someone to whom you're speaking doesn't even pretend to be listening to you.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
16. A friend borrows something of yours, returns it damaged, and makes no mention of its condition.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
17. Your judgment or intelligence is called into question.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
18. A pen breaks in the pocket of your favorite suit.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
19. An expensive item of clothing returns from the cleaners with a large stain on it.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
20. Someone at work goes through your desk drawers without your permission.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
21. At the very last minute, you are asked to make a presentation at work on an unfamiliar subject.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
22. Your spouse or partner makes a major purchase without consulting you.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
23. Friends bring their toddler to your home and sit silently as the child wreaks havoc on your belongings.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
24. Despite your certainty, you are unable to convince your bank that they have made an error adversely affecting your balance.
|
1 2
3 4 5 |
25. A friend tells
someone else your personal information that you revealed in confidence. |
1 2 3 4
5 |
Add the numbers you've
circled. If your total score is:
25 - 50: |
While there is probably always room for improvement, you remain admirably calm in the face of potentially vexing situations. You have learned there are other options besides anger as reactions to change and sudden or unpleasant developments.
|
51 - 100: |
Your ability to contain conflict and anger at generally manageable and non-destructive levels still needs work.
|
101 - 125: |
Improving your skills should be your first priority. |